Someone introduced me to a consultant.
I thought we would get to know each other. We might even find a reason to chat again.
Within an hour, he tried to:
Add me to his “roster”
Sell me a service
Get me to bid on a project
Test my product
Trade client leads
Collect my work history
Every topic became a pitch.
Every one of my polite answers sounded like a yes to him.
By the end, I wanted to hit my face against a wall.
Here is how he did it.
Talk too much
He asked about my work. I answered.
Then he took over and didn’t stop.
He told me about his career. Then his company. Then his other company. Then his partners. Then all the important people he knew.
I just stopped asking questions.
and started saying:
“Yup.”
“Cool.”
“Right.”
Those words can also mean: “Please stop talking.”
He didn’t stop.
If you’re selling do this instead
Ask one question at a time
Listen to the full answer
Keep your own story short
Stop when the other person stops asking questions
Mistake manners for interest
I said one of his services sounded interesting.
He heard a sale.
He walked me through the offer. Then the choices. Then how to sign up.
I’d shown mild interest. I didn’t ask to buy anything.
A good seller checks first.
“Do you want to hear more?”
“Are you looking for this now?”
“Should I send you the details?”
A short question can save everyone time.
Sell every connection
We had a few things in common. He tried to turn each one into a new deal.
I work for myself. He had a group I could join. He’d take a cut of any work I got through it.
I design websites. He had a website that needed help.
I was building a product. He wanted to test it.
We both knew founders. He wanted to trade client leads.
He owned another company. He wanted me to buy from it.
It felt like a slot machine. Every shared interest gave him another pull.
A shared interest can stay a shared interest.
You can also give someone a useful idea for free.
People can feel when every sentence you say is trying to make money.
Do this instead
Pick the best fit
Ask if they want to discuss it
Give one useful thought
Leave the other ideas alone
Name-drop too much
He knew successful people.
I heard about all of them.
Their job titles filled the call. He wanted me to see how strong his circle was.
It made him sound unsure of his own value.
One name may help explain your work. A long list just sounds like you’re bragging.
Tell me what you did.
What problem did you fix?
What changed?
What did the client get?
Why should I care?
Results carry more weight than a list of famous names.
Promise work later
He wanted me to take a project. His budget was far below my usual price.
He said there could be more work later. His network might also send work my way.
